Three months and ten days and I find myself stuck building this website. From when I started in dec 12, 2012 until now, so many personal events occurred and I was thrown off track. I’m no longer single and have to prepare for a new edition in the summer. Nothing has actually gone according to plan. I actually managed to go against every moral code I stand for. I stand in a very strange place in my life, where I want to do things to bring honor to God’s name, while at the same time I’m doing things that dishonor his name. Its all a chaotic mess. I thought 2011 was the lowest point in my life. To my surprise it can go lower. If I continue to live a life apart from God’s will, there’s no telling where I’m going to end up. One of the worst things I’ve experienced is having these ideas that will never be completed. Everything is in theory and nothing in practice. All talk but no walk. Actually I did attempt to walk, but I walked without faith, and I stumbled hard. It’s true what the apostle Paul said, focus on the matters of this world and it will be practically impossible to focus on the matters of the Kingdom. I fall short constantly. Consistently. But I still desire to see these visions completed. I still want to see chains broken, people finally getting it, and actually getting into doing the will of The Lord. That’s what I want to see, and I don’t care how many times I mess up. In the end God remains just, in the end God wins.