I was up late at night as usual, looking for new music, catching up on all the old tweets I missed, until a friend hits me up. “how should i feel he said hes glad im hurting and gets joy from it” What? Uh, hi friend, who i haven’t heard from in almost two weeks nice to meet you… Lol. Anyway I learned that She’s feeling down because of a recent break up. After a while of a little chitchat something hits me. an Epiphany. A perspective that wasn’t clear yet until now. This is how the story went:
“hello are you there?” She said. After a long pause I began typing,”I’m just thinking.. there’s not much I can say especially when you throw in the L word.. to Most people Love Is like a four letter tool used to poke at their self-inflected wounds. Making them feel like they want to crawl into a cave, weep until they fall asleep deep inside their graves..
NAHHHH I’ll pass.. Usually I let them be. They tell me that they are the victim and I look at them like they are liars. They are obviously hurting themselves and don’t even know it. This so called love they feel will be the death of them. I don’t Get it.
So I dare not go near that word.. I’ll let something or someone that OVERCAME death define what true love is. Why? Because the one who conquers death doesn’t have darkness blinding him from truth. he sees clearer, and death can not decay his wisdom.
Until I encounter someone like that, I stay away from all uses of Love, because if I ever get caught in love, I would probably die trying to fathom it’s complexities.. Our society’s definition of Love is just strange to me..
I wish I can tell you to him go.. Just let him go already.
but our perspectives are different..
You say you can’t because you love him too much….
but To Me LOVE is Something I can place in my heart, something to cherish. If it is no good, then I can Easily take it out, thanking God for the blessing of learning something new, and allowing me to maintain the memories that make me a better man..
But to Some people in this world, Love is more like Ripping a Piece of your heart OUT and giving it AWAY..theres no way of putting that piece back without a scar occupying unnecessary space. People treat love like a tattoo, taking the pain; like a stain that doesn’t wash off. Instead of treating love like a prized possession laid high upon the drawer of trust, knowing that this is not really ours to keep, but a blessing none the less that God allowed you behold.
Trust me, Theres a HUGE Difference between these two perspectives on “Love”. One You Receive until it’s time to give it back. A simple addition to the palette of your hearts ultimate design.
The other one you are taking out. Destroying something that’s not yours to tear apart. Ruining the interior design that the creator had planned for you. You created a hole in your heart, which you cant ever make good as new again.
“I gave him a piece of my heart, to prove to him how much I love him” They say.. I say “The Moment you have to prove your love to someone is the moment you’re chasing after a fabricated version of Cheap Love”.. and thats the problem with the way we love now a days..
Love is not something you have to prove. Love just is.. You either have it or you don’t. Stop Lying to yourself.
Harsh I know. Most importantly, Love is not SPOKEN love is FELT.
Jesus Christ is the answer for true love… so when we speak of love, we have to match it to our SAVIORS version of love, and see how that compares.. you will see that our version of love is a disgusting pale that fails in comparison!! and because of that no one knows what true love is, only Christ.. and any deviation of true love is a perversion of it.. its not LOVE!! its OBSESSION, its not love!! its ADDICTION, its not love!! its Desperateness! its Lack! its ANYthing you can think of.. but LOVE IT IS NOT.
you need Gods love.. but you won’t FEEL his Love until you start to love yourself… God’s love is most POWERFUL when it works THROUGH us.. love yourself enough to admit that it aint love.. he didn’t love you.. and what you call love aint really love.. Be real with yourself. How can you love someone and it only causes you pain? Sweety, that is not love..
Love yourself enough to know that God cares about you.. and he sees greatness in you when everyone else sees a failure.. the same way a mustard seed is in the dirt completely lost and confused, and people see a dirty seed. God, on the other hand, sees a mighty tree.. it’s upto you to decide which one you’ll be..
I know what you’re saying right now, Jose you just don’t understand. He’s right, I’m worthless. Look at me, I deserve this.
NO Stop it. Look to the Left…… now, Look to the right……. I just virtually slapped some sense into you. lol. I hope…. It starts now.
Let me ask you, why do you think most guys can just move on so easily? Because you were like a gift in their hearts, he Increased his Value when you walking into his life. Then when they didn’t want you they took you out. Hassle free.
While you on the other hand went as far as to rip a piece of your heart out for him. You Decreased your value to try and keep him in your life. and thats not something you can easily put back.
But my cold-heart is a little different than most.. I have more of a preserved heart, placed in the warm arms of God. and i let God do the loving for me, because there’s one thing that wisdom teaches me everyday, and its that I know nothing at all. I know nothing about Love. But God does. Let him show you how to love.
“But I just can’t stop crying, I can’t control it.”
pour it out..
and ask God to dispose of your views and your grip on temporary things.. and to teach you how to let go and let him have full control of things you can not control.. Thank God that he’s purifying your heart of the bitterness and poison through these tears.. and just cry.. and thank him that you can start a new chapter in your life.. Starting fresh, something you couldn’t see very clearly while grappling with your version of “love”.
And I’m sorry..
And it’ll be ok..
Thats the best i can do from here lol.”
And thats how the conversation ended. Why did I post this? I don’t know, maybe I felt like other people might need this.. Or Maybe God wanted to embarrass me by showing people how I really talk to my friends late at night!! I don’t know.. But Let who hear, hear. Or who read, read.